Episode S1-13: Addy Sheylan

*The Silencer Ages 6 years due to the battle with the ghost*

*We save Addy from the demons that were chasing her*

“You look like you could use a drink, luckily I have just become of age in the last few hours” – Melissa

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“They open the gate just enough for you to get through, these people are doing as little work as humanly possible” – Ron

“Those lazy fucks” – Jon

“That just sounds like a work day to me” – Chris 

Episode S1-14: Battle of the Bay

“These were the cowards that refused to go on the sea before” – Randal Hammond

“Now were the cowards that will go on the sea!” – The Silencer

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“Hypothetically speaking, how far could Grant or I through a fish?” – Nikos

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“Ok I’m going to use my persuasion on him” – Andrew

“Ok, what’re you saying to him?” – Ron

“…. Ok, I’ll admit, I hadn’t thought about that” – Andrew

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“My dad spent his whole life work, so he could send me to this school… and they kicked me out. I think I’m going to disappoint them” – Andrew

“Well, I could’ve told you that” – The Silencer

Episode S1-15: Items, Islands and Pirates… Oh Shit

*The Silencer drowns grant with the magic water pitcher*

*Nikos comes over to help him up*

“I always knew she was a squirter” – Nikos

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*Gets infinite water pitcher that can be fresh or salt water*

“I can’t wait until we find a really big snail” – Addy

“This country to doomed” – Grant

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“I’m willing to go look, but I don’t want to kill anything if we can avoid it” – Addy

“Then you stay in the back” – The Silencer

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*Grant suggests putting Eeyore in the bag of holding*

“Do you want all your stuff covered in donkey poop?” – Helwyn

“Maybe he’s into donkey poop?” – Trebek

“You’re right, I shouldn’t kink shame.” – Helwyn

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“Oh youre not going to see it, it’s a tattoo for the ladies” – NPC

“It’s four dicks tattooed onto his actual dick” – Jon

Episode S1-16: Honey I Shrunk The Silencer

*Nick shows off table top simulator*

“The room name is: ‘Trebek’ and the password is: ‘IsAHero’” – Nick

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*Looking for the researcher Zero*

“Hey Zero, I found something over here” – The Silencer

*Random guy looks in our direction*

“You Zero?” – The Silencer

“No-“

“Then what the fuck you looking at?” – The Silencer

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*Trying to figure out how to get past the guards so we can punch Yorge in the face*

“We can say he got distracted by bananas” - Trebek

“He’s paid to not get distracted by bananas” - Helwyn

Episode S1-17: Everybody Hates Yorge

“It looks like everybody has been a dick” – Lord Hamdon

“Only one of us is eight inches sir” – Nikos

Episode S1-18: Late Night Book Club

“He could probably tell that you’re not Biff, even if you are well disguised.” - Nat

“Besides he would see the bulge in your pants and know immediately.” - Jon

Episode S1-19: Tazae The Water Goddess

*Discusses Nikos being rich*

*Discusses Only Fans*

“Is that how Nikos has so much money? Is that why you take so many baths?!” - Melissa

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“You two make a cute couple!” – Lady Drake

“Who do you mean?” – Helwyn

*She has disappeared*

“She’s not a dragon, she’s a troll” – Jon

Episode S1-20: I Will Avenge Lucy

* Grant wants the monster’s eyeballs to cash in with Lady Drake. *

“What’re you going to do, say I found this random eyeball?” - Ron

“Listen, I’m sure that woman knows her eyeballs.” - Chris

Episode S1-21: A Bard’s Prophecy

“When moon doth laugh at worthless lives. Twice hard for all promise showed.

“You can’t stop it. You should leave.” – Kainulainen

“Yeah, we’re not good at listening to that kind of advice.” – Grant

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“You should flee to other places, other countries” – Kainulainen

“Those are fucked too” – Grant

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“The moon watches over you and watches over me” - Kainulainen

“Can we go back to waterboarding this guy?” – The Silencer

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“I guess I wouldn’t want people to play with my nipples either.” – Trebek

“Especially when they’re raw like that.“ – The Silencer

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“Do you really want to be taking things? Remember the bank?” – Helwyn

“Do you remember the time you called Grant a rapist? Yeah? Shut the fuck up then.” - Nikos

Episode S1-22: The Cult of Personality

“He asked me if I was following redeye Doyle was out of logic or rage, and I think it might be rage.” – Helwyn

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“Are you into a goblin and a gnome at the same time?” – Eliza Bell

“Please say yes” – Nikos

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“There’s a lot of crazy women that are more than willing to drop their panties or some blood for him.” – Helwyn.

Episode S1-23: Displacing a Prophecy

“There’s a silver mist in the field clearing.” – Ron

“Man, somebody needs to take detect magic.” – Chris

“It’s like when its really foggy on a moon lit night, that happen naturally.” – Helwyn

“Yeah, and Chris wishes he had detect magic then too.” - Chris

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*Trebek shit talks the Displacer Beast that knocked him out*

“Can I give Trebek a talking to mid-battle? I know I’m a parent because when he does things like this, I want to call him Alex.” - Nikos

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“Sorry, what did Helwyn say? I was too busy insulting Grant.” – The Silencer

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“Did your prophecy tell you that we would show up?” – Grant

“My pets were supposed to protect me from you.” – Selene

“Your prophecy sucks.” – Tazae

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“I have one more use of the identify spell and then I’m just a guy with a sword.” – Grant

“Grant you’re not just a guy with a sword. You’re a big guy with a sword and an alcohol problem.” - Helwyn

Episode S1-24: Curses! Foiled Again!

*Trying to determine if Aleister and his priests are trustworthy*

“They won’t betray us, its written in the Necroconomo-constitution.” – Nikos

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*The owner of the bee tavern offers The Silencer a bee massage*

“Absolutely not! What kind of fairy do you think I am?!” *Leans and whispers* “Send them up in ten.” – The Silencer

Episode S1-25: The Vomit of a Pervert

*Nikos throws up after using Gaze of Two Minds on Spider form Helwyn*

“Ah yes, the vomit of a pervert, the last part of the ritual” - Jon

Episode S1-26: A Dark Knight Rises

“Everybody roll a D20.” – Ron

“Nat 20.” – Jon

“You see a person hiding in the trees above you.” – Ron

“We’re in a cave though.” – Jon

“You’re right, what the hell am I saying.” - Ron

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“I cast sacred flame.” – Jon

“Ok, roll your dice.” – Ron

“No, you roll your dice.” – Jon

“Oh shit, you’re right.” - Ron

Episode S2-01: The Doom Shroom

Are you friend or foe to Magnus? – Random NPC

I fucking love that guy. - Nikos

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It has a name Grant, we’re adopting it. – Nikos

I can’t keep track of the first thing we’ve adopted. – Grant

Don’t you call my son a thing! – Nikos

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I want that as a quote. – Ron

* Chris sighs*

It’s a good quote! – Ron

I know it’s a good quote… And the name of this session is “We’re Adopting It”. – Chris

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Helwyn and I are suckers, but we’re ready to die for this mushroom. – Nikos

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I’m the DM, I’m allowed to make you feel bad. - Ron

Episode S2-02: Grimalkin’s Tower

Oh, so you have a church? Got a pamphlet or anything? – Nikos

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You had me at wine, so I guess we’re staying for a little bit. – Grant

Episode S2-03: Tazae, Queen of the Sea

*Grimalkin describes what a rabbit is*

Do you know what language it speaks? - Helwyn

No – Grimalkin

It’s a rabbit, it speaks hip hop – Nikos

Start rapping at it. - Tazae

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Tazae, can I borrow the water pitcher? – Nikos

Why? – Taze

Cause Grant just got burn. – Nikos

Alright, fuck you all. - Grant

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Maybe when a gnome offers to fire you out of cannon, you should say no. - Helwyn

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It is like having a rabbit run your country. – Ron

*Nat gasps*

Oh, shit, wait, rabbits don’t exist! - Ron

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*Lemon-Kai was eaten by a fish*

*Freshbread asks for us to help revive him*

I think we can all agree that something fishy has gone on here. – Helwyn

Well, that’s one for the pun counter. - Chris